I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
