if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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