He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
