new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
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