But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
