it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
