Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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