I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
