I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
