No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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