so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
They are going to name an STD after you.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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