Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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