That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Can Purell be used as lube?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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