I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
