you have to choose: penises or morals?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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