he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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