Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
