i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize