I wish I could teleport
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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