Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
