I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize