hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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