i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You pole danced in your parka.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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