Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
