these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
