no you cant smoke seaweed
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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