omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
