"it" just moved
I need help removing her.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
