He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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