I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
