i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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