yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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