there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
