I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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