Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
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