I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
