did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
