he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
