omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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