her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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