hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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