I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
