But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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