Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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