Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
