no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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