I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
