its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
