he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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