nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize