i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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