While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize