She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
