So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
