is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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