You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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