Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
