would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
