Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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