well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize