i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
