friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
