we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
